Before the start: 

Meeting aim: To raise the issue of self-belief, how we feel about ourselves and why; how our identities are formed and God’s perception of us.
Background points: Self-belief is an important issue for all ages but especially for young people as they are at a transition point in their lives in many respects and face lots of changes. It’s important that we understand God’s view of us and embrace this rather than our own negative beliefs.
Notes for adapting: This subject can be an emotional one and will need a lot of planning and consideration for using with your group. It could be an idea to split the group into small, gender groups. Be aware that young people will be at different stages with this issue due to age, maturity and background. You may need to consider this when placing people into groups. Also, don’t presume those who will ‘struggle’ with this topic - it is often those who appear happiest with their identity that are actually struggling the most.

Set the scene:

If you have a picture-editing programme on a computer consider playing around with some photos of people and distorting the images. Have these on the walls as people arrive to illustrate how our reflection in mirrors are not an accurate picture of who we are - there is more to us than what we see and often what we see is not what is really there because we focus on our flaws.

Icebreaker: Who am I? (10mins)

Have a circle of chairs with props on each (e.g. hat, football) that significantly relate to celebrities. Have these celebrity names written on post-it notes and as people enter the room stick one on their forehead - don’t let them see the name! They must walk around the room asking each other questions to which they can only say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to and then work out who they are. Once they
think they know their identity, they choose the chair with the prop on that relates to their character. You may find more than one person trying to sit on one chair! Reveal people’s ID!

Introduction (10mins)

Record a five-minute clip from a TV personal makeover programme. Otherwise find images of people who have admitted to having plastic surgery (e.g. Ann Robinson, Sharon Osbourne, Tom Jones, Jordan, Jodie Marsh) Use this to trigger discussion around these questions:
· Do you think plastic surgery is wrong?
· Would you consider having plastic surgery?
· What were these people’s problems with the way they looked?
· Did they look better after the makeover?
· Do you think they felt better?
· Do you think they will want more plastic surgery?
· Who defines what beauty is?
Talk about any cultural differences regarding what is beautiful…

ID Formation (20mins)

Our identities are built up over many years and from many different sources. As a child most people will recall having a fairly positive and self-confident approach to life and identity. With age this usually changes due to many factors. On a large piece of paper have a group brainstorm about all the different factors that question and challenge our self-perception.
Read: Luke 4:1-13 where Jesus is tempted in the wilderness by Satan. This passage is usually looked at when the subject of temptation is being discussed but we also see that Satan questions who Jesus is in verses 3 and 9 by saying ‘If you are the Son of God…’ Thankfully Jesus is certain of his identity and is not thrown by the Devil’s questioning. As a group, discuss what questioning voices challenge our identity.
Now discuss how self-view affects behaviour and can be destructive. If the groups are comfortable with sharing personally they can give examples from their own experience.

KEY POINT: Our self-view affects our behaviour. Use this to make the point that it’s therefore important to have a healthy self-image, and it is through God’s love that we find that positive image.

Me in the mirror (15mins)

Give each member a small mirror or a drawing of one and have pens and lots of post-it notes available. Invite the young people to write down things that make up who they are - good and bad. These things might be personal beliefs or what others have said. They need to write these separately on the post-its and then place them on the mirror. The mirror will soon fill up.
Point out it is impossible to not have a distorted self-image with all these things in the way (you can point their attention to the distorted images you have displayed). Read 1 Corinthians 13:12.
In small groups invite them to one-by-one remove these post-its from the mirror and divide them into three piles: true, untrue and unsure. Encourage them to talk about where these beliefs have come from (e.g. others, media pressures etc.) You may find some in the group assuring each other that certain beliefs just aren’t true. Such affirmation is important so try to facilitate this into a positive, helpful discussion.
As a response, read John 8:32. Play the song ‘Beautiful’ by Christina Aguilera and invite the young people to sit quietly, perhaps with their eyes closed. When the song has finished have the whole group (if possible) read Psalm 139 v1-18 aloud. You could have each person read a verse. Encourage them to really listen to the words as if it were God himself speaking to them.

ID transformation (10mins)

 Using the mirrors from the last exercise ask the young people to write on the mirror a true message concerning their self-image either from the song or the Bible passage just read. Just as our negative perceptions of self have been learnt over time through, for example, bad words or names spoken over and to us, so positive messages can be learnt.

KEY POINT: We need to begin to read God’s view of us in his Word in order for the verse in John 8 to happen: the truth can free us if we allow it to! It is not an instant thing. Just as we did not wake up one day having a distorted self-image, neither will we leave today’s session feeling happy with ourselves - both take time.

Challenge the group to read their message on their mirror at least once a day and to then pray that they might start to really believe it. Spend some time praying as a group now.
You could suggest some books for the young people to read on this topic. Ideas include: Who am I? by Mary Pytches, Soul Sista by Beth Redman, I wanna be a woman of God by Beth Redman, and Teenage boys’ survival handbook by Nick Harding.